seventeenfortythree | never, my love.

She can't look at him again, closing her eyes in pain as tears threaten once more. To know that Marsali took a life, and what that must have done to her, is agonizing for Claire. She just shakes her head a little, wishing it weren't true.

He doesn't know if it was right to tell her or not, but he has to take the body back to Brownsville. But he doesn't bring it up again, simply strokes the back of her hand lightly with his thumb.

"She'll be alright, Sassenach," he whispers.

It's only that she knows what it does to a person's soul to take a life, and it devastates her to know that Marsali did it for her. At the same time, she's grateful knowing Lionel is gone, and it creates such a conflict in her mind and heart.

"When...will you come back?" She asks, voice strained. She has no sense of time at all, feeling like when he leaves, he'll be gone for years, and that devastates her, too.

"It takes two days, there and back. But that was in bad weather, remember?" he asks, of the first time they'd come and gone. It'd stormed so badly in the evening that they'd been forced to make camp.

"I'll ride hard, Sassenach."

As hard as he can with a dead body with him.

"Claire, I dinnae want to go."

But they can't afford retaliation. "I beg ye to understand."

She's quiet again for a long stretch, which isn't like her by any means. But nothing about her is typical right now. Finally, though, she nods a little before trying to reposition herself and accidentally aggravating some of her injuries, wincing slightly at the movement.

He wants to beg her to tell him what to do, but he chokes it back. "Ian and Roger, Bree. They'll all be here wi' ye."

He knows that's not what she wants.

"Then there will be no more cause to leave again." His hands reach for her, hovering.

She wants to beg him to stay as much as he'd begged her to understand his need to leave. And it's too selfish of a request, so she won't say the words. She won't be alone, she knows that, but none of them are him; her husband, who always makes her feel safe.

"Be safe," she murmurs softly, not registering that she even sees his hands for some reason. "Please," she adds, almost desperately.

"Oh, mo nighean donn. Wild horses couldna keep me away from ye."

He means it, and he wants to reach and touch her.

"May I take yer hand in my own?" Jamie asks gently.

That question pulls her out of her mind a little bit and she focuses on him for a moment, nodding her head. She doesn't move to reach for him, but she wants his touch and she'll allow him to reach for her.

Slowly, so that she can see each movement, Jamie takes her hand and kisses her palm softly, then brings her hand to his chest, over his heart.

"Ye're the strongest person I know, Sassenach," he murmurs quietly.

never, my love.

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