seventeenfortythree | River Run

River Run | A slight AU PSL

"You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?"

Her question echoes in his mind as Jamie sits awake, crouched by the fire in the hearth wearing nothing as his eyes watch the flames dance. He'd been too restless to sleep, leaving Claire to the bed while he paced, thinking. He'd lost everything he had to Stephen Bonnet, and now his fingers rub together while he gathers his thoughts to speak.

"I ken being in this very place, the idea of owning slaves turns yer stomach. Mine as well. But we're no strangers to doing a wee bit that makes us uncomfortable if it can help in the long run, are we not?"

He'd spent many a night in a brothel with Charles Stuart, aggravated about it, and yet trying to do his part to stop the Uprising.

"Jocasta might've made an underhanded move in declaring me her heir in front of witnesses, but maybe we can do some good w'it, Sassenach. Find a way to undermine even the law." You can take the smuggler and outlaw out of Scotland, apparently, but it seems his mind will always drift back to such things eventually.

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She's a lucky woman to have a man like James Fraser, especially in these times.

Clothed in just her shift, Claire drapes a blanket over Jamie's shoulders before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Then, she sits beside him to similarly stare into the fire.

"We might not be able to help them all, but we could help the ones here. That's better than doing nothing." Isn't it? She looks to Jamie, knowing he'll hear her unvoiced question. "You'll be the master, here. If we're quiet, we can get away with a lot, I reckon."

Sitting down fully, he tugs his wife so that her back is to his chest and brings the blanket over both of them as his arms go around her.

"Little things, at first. Make young Ian the overseer."

It would be between the three of them then, that there would be no cruel punishment. They couldn't stop all production, that would be impossible, but they could be better.

"Maybe I canna give the slaves money, but better clothing, better cabins and more food shouldna be hard, I reckon. An' w'you tending to them, they'll be healthier."

There's absolutely no resistance on her part. Once settled against him, she pulls the blanket closer, leaning back.

"You think he's ready for such a thing?" No doubt he has a kind heart, and God knows Jamie had more responsibility at his age, but Claire does have a hard time not seeing him as more than her young nephew.

"Either way, they won't have to fear the lash or whatever else these barbarians use to punish them."

"Aye. He has a good heart. After the things he's seen and done, it hasna hardened. But he knows now, more of the world. He's ready," Jamie assesses.

Ducking his head he kisses her neck, and his lips stay there only because he's lost in thought once more. "We could give them passes, could we not? Let them be free to come and go as they please." He's trusting Claire to help him navigate how far they could toe the line

She hums thoughtfully, tipping her head so that he can better kiss her neck. Multitasking at its finest.

"As long as it looked like they were on estate business and didn't cause any trouble. If anyone stopped to question them, we would just have to make sure the stories are straight."

Which might be difficult with over a hundred and fifty slaves. Claire grimaces at the thought.

He'll think on it, and it won't be a thought that he lets go of easily.

"I ken what it is to have every right taken away, Claire. To be outside, but no'be free to go where ye please, speak with who you'd like, finish yer day at your leisure."

It's not the same, he knows it isn't, not compared to being forced out of your home and onto a ship. But his heart lays with what the people who work the land here are going through.

"We can keep the families together, at least. I'm glad for my auntie's kind heart in that regard." As he's speaking, one of his thumbs is moving idly over her hip, as if he can't go too long without touching her somewhere.

If anyone knows what it is to be a prisoner, it's Jamie. Claire rubs his arm, nodding. She knows, oh, she knows. It's a personal matter for him.

"We can. They'll have wages, proper clothing and food, and time off. And they won't have to be afraid."

It sounds easy on paper, doesn't it?

She sighs deeply, leaning her head back against him.

"I never thought we'd be dealing with this firsthand. I should have, perhaps, but I hoped not."

"We can still sail back to Scotland, Claire," he says quietly. He'd made the decision to stay to somehow, in some way, be closer to a daughter who exists two hundred years in the future. "This...slavery, it's bigger than the both of us. We canna fix it. If we stay, we can perhaps ease this plantation's sorrows."

But they'll still be taking on something so large. "I dinna ken how to be a master of enslaved men. Only laird of free people."

Edited 2018-11-24 20:49 (UTC)

"We could, but..." But what? She sighs again, trying to find the words.

"Lallybroch isn't yours anymore, Jamie. I don't know if you'd be happy there in the long run, and I'm certain young Ian wouldn't be." As desperately as the boy needed to be returned to his parents, Claire can see now how that life of farming and collecting rents wouldn't be enough for him.

"If anyone can make this a better place, it's you. We can't fix slavery, you're right. Not here, not now, but it does stop eventually. We can make sure these people don't suffer in the meanwhile."

Jamie's lips press now to the back of her head, keeping his face buried in her hair as the weight of it all settles on his shoulders. But he knows the same weight rests with her.

"Together, Sassenach," he finally decides, kissing her head again. "As we've done everything else." His arms tighten around her, chin resting on her shoulder. "An' ye can still be a healer. Travel to other plantations, into town if it pleases ye." As long as she takes someone they trust because he doesn't trust the world at large. Not when it comes to his wife.

"Together."

He needs her. They can do fine enough, without one another, but he needs her as she needs him. The weight isn't impossible if they're both there, supporting one another through it. She rests her arms over his and squeezes them tight against her body.

"Whenever you need me, I'll be here, Jamie."

He knows it, but it's good to hear, sometimes.

"And I, you, Claire." He kisses her neck again, then stands, reaching down to help her up and tucking the blanket back tight around her shoulders. Then, his lips find the bridge of her nose, softly murmuring his appreciation for her before guiding her back to bed, pulling her back to his chest.

There are still other things on his mind, things he needs to rectify, but he'll get there, he's sure of it. "Rest well, mo calmen geal."

Sometimes she feels a bit like Bree's stuffed rabbit from when she was little, held close for comfort and security. Not that she minds it at all. Claire turns in his arms, draping an arm and a leg over him to properly keep him close. Most people might not be able to be comfortable like this, close enough to share breath, but it's never been a problem with them.

"Will you?"

She's no stranger to his thoughts keeping him up at night.

She des bring him comfort, more than he ever had before her, like nothing he had while she was gone. Her very presence makes him feel steady, anchored to the Earth.

"I ken I'll try," he promises, though he knows when his mind is racing it's hard to turn off, and she knows it as well.

"Then I'll keep you company," she murmurs, pressing a kiss to his lips before she rests her head beside his, a hand in his hair.

"I know this isn't ideal, but I am glad you get to spend time with your aunt."

The closest to his mother he'll get.

He smiles just a little, humming his agreement before covering her free hand with his, thumb stroking her wrist.

"She looks...so much like my mother, Claire." His face changes a little, softens. "Dwelling on things we've lost, it doesna bring them back. But I find myself wishing she could have met you, Sassenach."

She brings his hand to her lips so that she can kiss his knuckles. Family is the most important thing to Jamie, and she knows what it does to his heart to be with his aunt. Jocasta might not be her favorite person in the world, but God, she'd endure much if it made Jamie this happy.

"I wish I could have met her, too. But I can imagine, now," she tells him quietly. "I would very much like to hear your mother's opinion of me, though."

Her son marrying an English woman. Christ.

He laughs, and it's actually rich and amused at the thought. "Oh, ye thought Jenny wasna impressed when first ye met, where do you think she gained her temper? My mother was a stubborn woman. Defied both of my uncles by eloping with my father, didna care much what they thought of him."

It sounds like a parallel story and Jamie smiles again, kissing Claire's hand once more. "I kent she would never mind much who I married, on account of her own marriage. But to marry a Sassenach, well, that might have been pressing her affection for me, just a wee bit."

"Very funny," she informs him, though she's sure his mother would be rather surprised by the turn of events, especially if she knew Jamie's history with the English.

"And your father? Would he be of a similar mind?"

He thinks about it for a moment, his eyes moving over her face as his thumb glides across her chin, then the apple of her cheek.

"He would have been the one to calm her down." Maybe he's idealizing it in his head a bit, because of how much he loves Claire, but he believes it, and his thoughts shift a bit.

"I reckon Jocasta has less of a reason to distrust ye, Sassenach. She doesna ken what happened to me. Column and Dougal saw no reason to upset her, and neither did I."

Less of a reason to distrust, but plenty of reason to dislike, apparently. Though the woman is good enough at masking it. Dislike might be too strong of a word, perhaps--disagree, maybe. Claire might be more on the edge of dislike, but she's kind enough not to say as much to Jamie.

"I see. That just leaves you, then. But I have the strangest inclination to believe that you're rather fond of me, Jamie Fraser."

Wonder what led her to believe that. She smiles at him, leaning closer to touch their noses together.

He'd be glad for his wife's holding back, but as it is, he smiles and lets his nose gently nuzzle against hers. "I was fond of ye the night you yelled at me fer getting shot."

"And you loved me when I wept in your arms," she finishes for him, remembering that confession quite well. This man truly is one of a kind.

"Because you absolutely ridiculous."

"Because I could see your heart, ye ken?" he asks softly, pressing his palm flat against her chest, feeling that strong beat. "How much ye cared for people. And even then, I wondered who would take care of you, in return."

He kisses her softly, but his hand trails down her arm, to her now bare hand, missing his ring. Still, his thumb strokes that skin as he closes his eyes, forehead pressing to his. "Do ye still trust me, Claire? To protect you?"

And he still manages to make her pulse quicken with just a touch. He's done a good job of taking care of her--the very best, seeing her safe, and ensuring their daughter lived a good life. Brianna has a future she could have never achieved here.

Feeling his touch wander, she turns her hand to grip his fingers tightly. It feels different now, without the metal of his ring pressing into her flesh as a constant reminder of their wedding day, but she knows she'll get used to it eventually. It's just a thing.

"Of course. Always. Nothing will ever change that, Jamie."

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River Run | A slight AU PSL

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